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One of his interests: “i guess some people would call it squatting … Confusingly, upgrading to premium is temporarily free, which means there’s a confusing, hard-to-navigate caste system.Since i like to live off the land.” The bizarre: “This site made with 100% recycled electrons! “No trees were destroyed and no animals were harmed.” Well, The gist: The site is less than two years old, and the pickings are slim. The good: Less-ugly graphic design than the rest — illustrated green doves are about the only thing to mock here.

At 36, he’s the youngest of the bunch (others range up to 60).

He’s nerdy-cute, so I send him a canned message without much hope. The gist: It’s “the largest matchmaking site for Democratic singles …

The main problem with most of these green dating sites is pure lack of users.

(Remember how lame Facebook was when you’d just joined and only had five friends? welcome back.) Add some hideousness into the mix and I’m not super-compelled to return.

Filling out my profile is fast, and it asks about my hard drug use and tattoos. “Are you a flamboyantly tattooed athletic Ph D or an introspective vegan social drinker with three kids? The bad: It takes five days for my account to get approved, and there are only two guys between 25 and 35 in Washington state.

I broaden the search to 23 to 38, and a “23 year old male firemonkey” is several hours away, but I can’t contact him because he’s a paid member.

I’m barely flexible enough to sit in a chair.) What’s a green single with wifi to do? Sacrificing my dignity for your carnal pleasure, I joined five green dating sites under the name “sustainabanger” and exploited their free features in search of Seattle-area love.

(Warning: If you’ve ever stabbed your eyes with a trident — the stabby thing, not the gum — that’s what looking at these sites feels like.

And, now that environmentalism is hot, websites are popping up all over to help ecosexuals find true love.

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